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12 October 2013 @ 03:19 pm
Those Walls I Built (Fic, Jared/Jensen, NC-17)  
Title: Those Walls I Built
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Warnings: D/s, explicit sex, language, brief mention of infidelity
Word Count: 1,582
Summary: What goes on behind closed doors is no one's business but theirs.
A/N: Started out as a kink meme fill, but went way off the rails, whoops.

The muscles in Jensen’s back ripple as he shifts forward, struggling a bit against the rope bound tightly around his torso and arms. The distance between the bed and the hook in the ceiling is such that his knees just barely graze the crisp linens beneath him; Jared made sure of that.

A brief glimmer of defiance shines behind Jensen’s dark pools of hazel green, but it’s gone just as quickly as it came, like a flash of lightning in a cloudless winter sky. He resettles and becomes completely still again, his palms pressed firmly together behind his shoulder-blades.

“Just relax for me,” Jared murmurs. “I promise it’ll be worth it. Don’t I always take care of you?”

A harsh exhale tears from his lungs as Jensen’s eyes track each of Jared’s careful movements, but he remains otherwise silent around the gag stretching his lips wide. The younger man reaches under the collar of his starched white dress-shirt and tugs sharply at the metal chain, turning the small brass key over in his palm just once before striding toward the bed.

It started – like so many other things – with a handshake and a smile. From the moment they met, Jensen felt like they already knew each other; perhaps from some past incarnation. As such, their relationship evolved not like a typical friendship, but more as a perpetual stitching together of a lifetime’s worth of cherished memories.

Jared sits on the edge of the mattress and smiles, letting his eyes sweep hungrily over Jensen’s smooth, lean body – miles and miles of creamy-white skin dusted lightly with freckles all over. He drags his tongue across his bottom lip and considers the key in his hand for a moment before setting it down on the nightstand.

Jensen’s eyes fall shut, his dark fringe of lashes fluttering high on his cheekbones, nostrils flaring. A strip of muscle twitches on his thigh and Jared’s hand is instantly there, petting over it, soothing away the strain. “Open your eyes, Jensen,” he says evenly. He nods his approval when Jensen hurriedly blinks them open and fixes his gaze straight ahead. “That’s my good boy.”

He drags his hand up higher, across Jensen’s taut belly and up to the stiff peaks of his nipples, tweaking one of them hard between his fingertips. But Jensen remains still, his entire body wound tight like a rubber-band about to snap. The chrome of Jensen’s cock cage shines even under the dim light spilling into the bedroom from the hallway outside. The intricate maze of lines and curves are a gorgeous sight, a stunning contrast against the baby-soft skin trapped beneath.

When Jared reaches down to gently roll Jensen’s balls in his palm, the cold ring of steel wrapped tight around the heavy sacs of flesh sends a tremor of anticipation racing down his spine. Jensen lets out another ragged exhale, his cock twitching but remaining entirely soft.

Chemistry between two actors isn’t something you can fake; that much became clear less than an hour into the first day of filming. Jensen saw something – felt something – in Jared that he honestly didn’t know he’d been looking for. It was as exhilarating as it was maddening; this need burning so hot inside him that often times, it just became too much to handle.

The bottle of lube and various toys are meticulously laid out in the top drawer of the nightstand, exactly the way Jared likes them. He hesitates for a moment before grabbing the largest one and just holds it in his hands for a moment. Jensen’s still facing forward, but his body is trembling with the effort to hold back, to keep himself from turning to catch a glimpse of what he’s not allowed to see. Jared moves to the center of the bed, his chest as close to Jensen’s back as possible without actually touching. The heat is radiating off of Jensen in waves, perspiration gleaming on the nape of his neck, gathering in beads before running down his spine in rivulets.

“My good boy,” Jared repeats. He nudges his nose against the soft skin behind Jensen’s ear and inhales deeply – just once – before sitting back on his heels. He tips the bottle, watching with detached curiosity as the clear liquid trickles out onto black vinyl, beading in the dips and crevices, dripping over the contours into his palm.

Jared presses a hand to Jensen’s hip and silently urges him to bend slightly at the waist. At this angle, Jensen’s body is pulled taut like a bow, the muscles in his back flexing hard against the ropes binding him. He willingly spreads his legs, swaying a bit when the movement raises him up enough so that the mattress beneath him is just out of reach. Jared steadies him with his free hand and with the other, he plunges the device in one smooth motion into Jensen’s twitching hole.

It’s the worst cliché in the book, but it’s the truth. He never stopped loving Jared, even when he let the distance divide them – let all the lies surrounding them win out over the truth. He downed half a bottle of vodka trying to wash the taste of her from his memory, wishing desperately to turn back time and be the man that Jared damn well deserved.

Jared rises to his feet and circles around to the foot of the bed, watching wordlessly as Jensen’s breaths hitch behind his ribcage on every inhale, his nostrils flaring on every exhale. Tears glisten in his eyes as he rights himself, sending the thick, rounded head of the toy pushing hard against his prostate. He bites down hard on the ball gag, the muscles in his jaw pulsing minutely, struggling under the added burden.

He’s fucking beautiful when he’s like this – his face and chest shining with perspiration, skin stained pink where the ropes cut into his flesh, his eyes dark and unseeing, pupils edging out almost all the green. His dick is still completely flaccid even as a steady trickle of pre-come leaks from the tiny slit, gathering in the circular opening at the tip of the cage like spider’s silk.

The seconds tick by, each one like a million lifetimes as Jared drinks in the strength and beauty willingly laid out before him; his for the taking, like a gift he absolutely doesn’t deserve.

A quiet moan suddenly bubbles up from Jensen’s throat – barely more than a whimper—but it’s enough for Jared to hurriedly close the distance between them. He reaches up and unbuckles the gag, tossing it aside before soothing over Jensen’s pursed lips with the pad of his thumb. Jared’s own cock is achingly hard and pressing painfully against the back of his zipper, all of his senses muddled and hazy, but still he forces himself to focus, to pull Jensen back from the edge like he has so many times before. His hands tremble as he pushes the key into the padlock and pops it open, and then carefully slips the cage from Jensen’s heated flesh.

There’s a darkness within him that Jensen catches glimpses of more and more – shadows of jealousy flickering over Jared’s eyes when he thinks no one is looking; lingering touches that become possessive, threatening. It should be frightening but he willingly delves deeper into that ink, searching for himself, looking for reasons to believe he can still put the shattered pieces of them back together.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen chokes out. “I love you.” He bites back another moan when the tears spill free, tracing jagged tracks down his cheeks before dripping onto the bed sheets beneath him. His cock fills and stiffens, curving beautifully up toward his belly, a clear trickle of pre-come ebbing from the swollen tip.

Jared shoves at the open flaps of his pants, tucking the waist of his boxer-briefs under his balls and pushing himself up to kneeling. He curls his arm tight around Jensen’s back and pulls him close, holding him steady as he takes both of their cocks in his fist and begins to stroke hard and fast and frantic. He thrusts his hips against Jensen’s and smashes their mouths together, immediately dipping his tongue between Jensen’s lips, desperate for more.

Just a handful of strokes later, he coaxes Jensen’s orgasm from him, squeezing tight under the swollen crown as he spills hot and frantic between their sweaty stomachs. Jared follows him just a split-second later, biting back Jensen’s name as his climax tears through him, sending sparks of pleasure shooting up and down his spine, under his skin, punching the air from his lungs. It takes a few moments for their ragged breathing to even out, for the lust-haze to clear enough for Jared to realize that Jensen is no longer trembling where he’s curled against him.

Afterward, he carefully spreads Jensen out on the bed and presses kisses to the tender, swollen lines criss-crossing his skin. “I love you too,” Jared whispers. “So much.” He trails whisper-soft touches over Jensen’s long, lean body and grins faintly at the soft rise of goose-bumps left behind.

Jensen smiles up at him through half-lidded eyes – somehow equal parts grateful and lazy – a picture of pure contentment like nothing else.

He’s unworthy of Jared’s trust and devotion, he knows that. He’s known it for years; will struggle with it for the rest of his life until the day he earns it back again. Until then, this is enough. It has to be.
twnchesterangeltwnchesterangel on October 13th, 2013 05:20 am (UTC)
Holy crap! Lol Once again, AGAIN, you take something that isn't usually my thing and sucked me in anyway. This was friggin' HOT. I truly think your talent for writing is why I am able to not only read but enjoy stuff I normally don't. Plus, the emotion in this was raw. I really really liked this. You always ALWAYS amaze me. I'm so happy whenever I get an alert from you in my inbox. PLEASE keep writing. Guh. Thanks again! *hugs*
imaginecoolname: Dean/Samimaginecoolname on October 14th, 2013 06:26 pm (UTC)
Your comment took the words right out of my...hand, I feel exactly the same. This is usually not my cup of tea at all, but Sakura, you always manage to intrigue and awe me with your writing. I'm eternally amazed how you can say so much and convey such depth and intensity with only a few words. Thank you and don't ever stop! *hugs*
Sakurasakura_no_mi on October 22nd, 2013 05:06 am (UTC)
Thank you so much, m'dear! I meant for this to be longer, but then I started a new job and ran out of time :-X I'm happy to hear the emotion still came across with what few words I used, hehe.
Sakurasakura_no_mi on October 22nd, 2013 05:05 am (UTC)
Yay, thank you so much, bb!! You're awesome for always taking a chance on stuff you wouldn't normally <333
ephermeralkephermeralk on October 13th, 2013 06:19 am (UTC)
Love, love, LOVED it! Beautifully written, and I couldn't pick out a specific one, because I'd just like to live within each one.
Sakurasakura_no_mi on October 22nd, 2013 05:09 am (UTC)
Thank you! :)
Andiepaper_storm88 on October 18th, 2013 04:08 pm (UTC)
I'm not even sure I totally understand this one but it was still gorgeous. There was definite loin-stirring, lol.
Sakurasakura_no_mi on October 22nd, 2013 05:11 am (UTC)
Hehe, thanks so much bb. I don't really get it either, this shit kinda just happens sometimes and I try to go with it :P