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03 September 2013 @ 10:42 pm
Tonight (Fic, Sam/OMCs, NC-17)  
Title: Tonight
Author: sakura_no_mi
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sam/OMCs
Warnings: unrequited Sam/Dean, Sam/OMCs, unsafe sex, language, underage (Sam's age not specified)
Word Count: 2,018
Summary: For this prompt at spnkink_memeSam is head-over-heels in love with Dean. But since he knows that Dean won't ever return the feeling, he turns to (much older) strangers to scratch his itch. He's reckless about it, bathrooms and alleys, no condoms, no names. Basically I just want Sam/older guys. Bottom Sam only please!
A/N: Ugh, this turned out way more angsty than it was supposed to be. Hope it's still a decent fill, OP <3

No matter where he runs to, it’s always there – inside him – this deep, aching emptiness that can only be filled by one thing. There are days when Sam can barely breathe anymore, like the weight of the world is crushing down on him in the form of the nameless, faceless sluts crying out his brother’s name on the other side of a too-thin motel wall.

Sam grabs his keys and leaves, slamming the door loudly behind him – teenage angst and indignation without an audience, wasted like too many other emotions he can’t bear to admit out loud. He’s got a fake ID and a bad attitude, the perfect combination to fit right in at this shit-hole town.

Sam sits at the bar for quite some time, staring at the colorful bottles lined up along crooked glass shelves until the warmth coursing through his veins makes them blur out of focus. He swallows the last of his whiskey and then fidgets with the empty tumbler, resisting the urge to throw it against the nearest wall just to watch it shatter into pieces. His eyes snap up at the sudden sensation of someone beside him and – despite alcohol-dulled senses – he drops his free hand to where he’s got a knife stashed in the back pocket of his jeans.

“Hey. Haven’t seen you here before,” the man says. His eyes are deep blue like the ocean and his hair is blonde and wavy, kissed by the sun just like the bridge of his nose and cheeks, covered in a smattering of freckles. He’s old enough to be Sam’s father, or at the very least, his much older brother. The thought alone brings a bitter smile to his face.

“I’m not from around here,” Sam replies. He’s not about to let his guard down completely but it’s obvious this guy is harmless.

“Yeah? What’re you doin’ in town?” he presses on.

“Visiting,” Sam replies.

With that, he drops a few bills on the bar and slowly heads back toward the restroom. He leans heavily against the sink, reluctantly raising his eyes to his own reflection. His eyes are rimmed red around the edges and bloodshot, his cheeks stained pink. He wants to cry, scream, put his fist through the glass at the injustice of it all, but instead he just turns the water on and splashes some on his face.

The creak of the door opening and closing startles him, but Sam doesn’t turn around. “Wasn’t sure you were comin’,” he remarks as he stands up straight.

“Wasn’t sure you wanted me to,” the man replies.

Sam finally turns around, sizing the guy up, his gaze sweeping slowly over cowboy boots, baggy jeans and a faded flannel shirt rolled at the elbows. This isn’t the first time and it certainly won’t be the last, but Sam can’t help but smile faintly at how pretty this one is. Ultimately, Sam is the one who makes the first move, taking a step closer, curling his fists tight around the man’s shirt collar and smashing their mouths together. The pleasure punches the air from his lungs, making his head spin and his heart hammer madly behind his ribs.

They stumble into a stall together, neither of them bothering to lock it before Sam’s belt is undone and his jeans are bunched around his thighs. He flails one hand out to steady himself as the man drops to his knees and sucks Sam’s aching cock into his mouth, quickly settling into a fast, dirty rhythm as he bobs his head up and down.

It feels amazing – just like it always does – and before he can think to stop, Sam’s begging, pleading with the stranger to fuck him. The first thrust hurts more than anything, the clumsy, too-dry slide of friction sending pinpricks of pain blossoming under his skin. But like everything else, it’s worth it eventually, especially when the man pulls Sam backward, close against his chest, arms curling tight around him as he picks up a slow and steady rhythm.

He lets one hand slip lower, reaching down and squeezing Sam’s throbbing flesh. Sam chokes back a groan as his orgasm tears suddenly through him and he spills hot and sticky onto the floor beneath their feet. The man bites back a choked-off obscenity as he pushes in deeper – one last time – and swells bruise-tight inside Sam’s clenched channel. The warmth of his release is oddly comforting, and Sam lets himself get lost in the sensations, lets himself forget for just a few more moments.

“My name’s Jason,” he murmurs. “Can I- I mean, can I call you sometime?”

“I’m leavin’ town tomorrow night,” Sam says instead of replying. He turns and presses a soft kiss to the man’s lips as he fastens his jeans and slips quietly out of the bathroom without looking back.

They’re not always so sweet and caring, most of them not anywhere near as gentle as the blonde cowboy with the deep blue eyes and strong, steady embrace. But Sam doesn’t mind. Sometimes he needs it like this – fast and rough and dirty – to remind him of the anger, of the hurt and pain that also smolders deep inside him.

He turns his head, pressing his cheek to rest against cold brick and mortar as big, careless hands shove at the waist of his briefs, tucking them under the swell of his ass. The man hums appreciatively and palms over Sam’s ass cheeks before ungracefully spitting into one of his palms and prodding at his entrance. This guy is well-dressed – starched dress-shirt, tie and slacks – the whole nine yards, shoes that shone even under the dim lighting at the bar.

Sam squeezes his eyes shut and pushes his hips back, biting back the groan that wants to escape at the sudden intrusion splitting him wide open. He forces himself to keep on breathing though, keep on forcing air in and out of his lungs as his partner takes him hard and fast, pressing one hand to the wall in front of them for leverage. Sam blinks his eyes open and notices – with distant curiosity – that the man is wearing a wedding band, shiny and gold under the hazy streetlamp far above.

He wonders vaguely if this man’s wife knows what he does when he says he’s at the office working late, when he spouts off lies to hide the need that churns desperate and hungry within him. Sam chokes on a laugh when he wonders about Dean – if his big brother has any idea what Sam is doing these nights he doesn’t come home until well past the witching hour. But it doesn’t matter, not really, and it probably never will.

Sam reaches down and wraps his fist tight around his own cock, jerking himself hard and fast as he rocks against the body writhing against him. His lips silently form his brother’s name when he comes, his release splattering against the alley wall in front of him, painting over the dirt and grime with the seed of his shame. Tears in his eyes, Sam waits for the softening dick to slip out of his tender, stretched hole before he carefully pulls his jeans back on and stumbles back home.

It’s a different town the next time but the same brand of shitty, nearly-deserted bar that Sam’s grown accustomed to. He spots this one right away -- desperation practically rolling off of him in waves – but the closer he gets, the more Sam begins to realize that there’s something different about him. His eyes betray him – sad, dark, lonely – despite the pleasant smile curving his lips. But it’s the color of them that affects Sam the most, the gold flecks dancing in pools of hazel green. He could get lost in them, drown in them and go willingly to his death.

“Buy you a drink?” he grins.

It isn’t fair – the way Sam feels, wishing that everything that has always been never was. Dean used to look at him like this, eyes shining clear and bright, laughter on his lips and careless fingertips brushing against young, eager skin. He didn’t know any better back then; neither of them did.

Sam just shrugs and ventures a small smile in response, but he takes the free beer and downs most of it in one long swig. They end up in the guy’s car parked in the lot behind the bar, making out like a couple of horny teenagers. Fake ID tucked safely in his wallet, Sam conveniently forgets to tell tonight’s partner how old – young – he actually is. He throws one leg over the man’s waist to straddle his hips and immediately grinds down, sighing with relief at the friction, even with all the layers of cotton and denim between them.

He’s an awesome kisser, his lips soft and smooth, tongue just barely sliding against Sam’s, teasing, slow and sweet. But Sam can’t wait to feel that big dick inside him; his whole body aches for it, craves hard flesh pushing passed muscle still so intent on resisting. They both moan when he sinks down, sliding the stiff, throbbing shaft all the way in until their hips are pressed flush together again.

“God, look at you,” the man whispers, sounding nearly awed. “So fuckin’ beautiful.”

Sam dips his head, letting his too-long bangs fall across his forehead, unsure what to do with such reverence. He sucks in a startled gasp when fingertips brush along the curve of his jaw and down to his chin. “Don’t hide from me,” he quietly pleads. “Just wanna look at you… please?”

As headstrong and stubborn as Sam can be, he raises his eyes, meeting nearly identical hazel-green as he begins to move. The man reaches between them and wraps his palm gently around Sam’s dick, just loosely fisting it as it bobs between them with each down-thrust. Sam moans softly and tosses his head back, letting his eyes fall shut again as he gives in to the pleasure rippling through his whole body. He continues to move, finding just the right angle to drive the thick, rounded tip of the man’s cock against his sweet spot on every other thrust.

It’s over much too soon, leaving Sam breathless and aching both inside and out. When he tries to pull away, strong but gentle hands curl tight around his hips to hold him there. “Stay?” the man asks.

Sam can feel soft exhales flowing over his lips like velvet, the sweet warmth of them reminding him what it’s like to love, to be loved. But here under the cover of a million stars – all of them whispering, conspiring because somehow they know the truth – none of it matters. He forces himself to get out of the car minute later, fleeting warmth left behind in favor of a biting cold, chilly night.

Dean’s at the motel when Sam slips quietly through the front door and shrugs out of his jacket. He’s standing at the window just staring out at a barren landscape, his lips pursed slightly in thought. He turns when Sam enters and then smiles faintly, his eyes sparkling in the hazy blue glow of moonlight, a bright light amongst the darkest of shadows.

“What’re you doin’ home?” Sam quietly asks.

“Didn’t feel like goin’ out,” Dean shrugs. “Glad you’re here. D’ya wanna watch a movie or somethin’?”

Sam nods and flops down onto his bed as Dean flicks the television on, flipping through a few channels before landing on an old black-and-white horror film. He sinks down onto the mattress beside his brother and smiles again – warm and reassuring – before pulling Sam close, fingers playing idly with the collar of his shirt.

Outside, the chilly winter wind suddenly picks up, rustling through the leaves of the old cottonwood tree just beyond the windowpane. Clawed shadows dance across the bed sheets, reminding Sam of the evil that lurks just beyond the night’s veil. But he’s safe here – whole again somehow after being shattered down to nothing – warm and content against his brother’s shoulder, even if just for tonight.
spnjunkie25spnjunkie25 on September 4th, 2013 12:31 pm (UTC)
So sweet and sad! :) thank you for sharing. XOXO
Sakurasakura_no_mi on September 5th, 2013 05:29 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading & commenting! <3
imaginecoolname: Coolerimaginecoolname on September 4th, 2013 04:38 pm (UTC)
Oh no, I knew I shouldn't have read this, since I really don't like when either of them are with someone else, and unrequited Wincest is just the saddest thing ever! And this broke my heart. But since it was you writing this, it sure was a beautiful way to go, and your writing is always worth all the sniffles and heartbreak. :)
Sakurasakura_no_mi on September 5th, 2013 05:34 am (UTC)
Thanks for taking a chance & reading it anyway! And of course for your sweet comment & undying support! I almost couldn't believe I wrote this too, hehe. I'm such a Wincest shipper that the thought of Sam with anyone else made me feel so icky... Somehow the prompt got to me though 'cause I couldn't resist it. Anyway, thanks again and BTW hi!! :)
imaginecoolname: Dean/Samimaginecoolname on September 5th, 2013 04:56 pm (UTC)
Hi back! *grins and waves* It's always so good to read from you, hon! How's life been treating you? Hope everything's well? Miss you round here and I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs! ♥
Sakurasakura_no_mi on September 6th, 2013 05:29 am (UTC)
Gonna DM you :)