Warnings: explicit sex
Word Count: 2,310
Summary: The guys have been apart for a while during a break from filming. Jared is sad for... reasons... and needs Jensen's reassurance that everything will be okay.
A/N: Takes place around September 2012 just before Jared helped film the footage for the "Angeles" video. Title is from Steve Carlson's song of the same name.
The ocean is gently lifting and lowering the boat – rhythmic waves like the ones that can so easily lull him to sleep on days like this. Jared smiles faintly as he leans against the opposite railing and just watches Jensen for a few moments. He’s beautiful when he’s like this – as relaxed as the lazy ocean swell, fingers strumming carelessly over chords that linger in the warm salty air between them. They’re more than a mile out, the marriage of land and sea nothing more than a faint memory far in the distance.
He doesn’t recognize the tune that Jensen’s humming, but it doesn’t matter. Jensen stops after a moment and reaches up to push his sunglasses into the sandy brown spikes on his head. “What?” he grins, looking like someone just told a joke whose punch-line he didn’t understand.
“Nothin’,” Jared smiles. “I uh- I really missed you.”
Jensen makes a soft, thoughtful sound of agreement deep in his throat and then starts to play again, tapping his foot softly against the deck as he continues on. It’s startling sometimes – especially times like this – when Jared can’t remember anything from his life before he met Jensen. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to.
“Hey,” Jensen murmurs as his hands come to a stop. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,” Jared hurries to reply. “I just- like I said, I missed you.”
There aren’t enough words in the world and certainly not enough time, not when the sun is already starting to dip below the horizon, shimmering across the surface of the turquoise water, rippling in waves of color before settling again. Jared lowers his eyes and just forces himself to breathe for a moment, pushing his hair away from his face, as nostalgic as he is frightened. He inhales sharply at the sensation of hands on his shoulders and then fingertips against his cheeks, brushing away tears he didn’t know were there.
Jensen easily closes the space between them and curls his arm around Jared’s waist, threading his fingers through the strands of Jared’s hair and guiding his head down to rest against the crook of his neck. “I missed you too,” Jensen whispers. “I mean. How could I not? I love you.”
And just like that, the world rights itself again, the Jensen-shaped ache in his heart filling with love and emotion and about a million other things that Jared’s too terrified to admit out loud. Jensen smells clean and sweet, like sunshine and happiness, so Jared inhales deeply; breathes him in deep enough so that he’ll never truly lose him, never really forget.
What they need right now is time.
Time to understand – to make sense of – this puzzlingly beautiful thing between them that began years ago and has only gained strength with each passing day. But Jensen pulls away abruptly and smashes his mouth to Jared’s, plunging his tongue between his lips and moaning softly into the kiss, suddenly desperate for more. Jared chokes back a whimper when his lip gets caught between Jensen’s teeth, but that doesn’t stop either of them; doesn’t even slow them down. Jensen trails a line of wet, biting kisses along Jared’s jaw, then down to the curve of his neck where his tongue laves over his Adam’s apple again and again.
“Need you,” Jared rasps, nearly frantic. “C’mon, Jen. Now.”
They stumble down the steps together, hands scrambling for buttons and zippers and anything they can reach, frantic to touch the warm, bare skin left behind. Jared steps them both backward through the cabin, flailing his arm out to steady himself when the ocean dips beneath them, throwing off his footing. He falls backward onto the tiny mattress and pulls Jensen down with him, both of them laughing as they struggle to fit into the small space together.
Jared frowns slightly in confusion when he feels Jensen trying to wrestle one arm under him. The thought is momentarily lost when Jensen slots their lips together again, warm and wet and perfect to fix everything that needs mending, to soothe away all the fear and insecurity that’s plagued them both since the beginning. A quiet gasp escapes his lips when he realizes what Jensen’s doing – that he’s cradling Jared’s head against his forearm, shielding him from the sharp wooden edge where the mattress doesn’t quite meet the bedframe in the corner.
He shouldn’t be as surprised as he is. After all, years of being the Dean to his Sam has changed Jensen in ways that they stopped trying to explain long ago. Jared smiles faintly, biting back the swell of emotion in his chest and the surge of love in his heart. Jensen mirrors his grin and reaches up with his free hand to sweep Jared’s hair off of his forehead. His palm moves easily over Jared’s face, thumb skirting along his cheekbone and fingertips tracing down his cheek.
The arousal has been burning slowly in the pit of his stomach since they left the dock; since before that even. But Jared lets Jensen take his time, lets him explore his body with tiny touches and soft, warm kisses – like a painter’s brush strokes on a familiar canvas. Jensen presses a gentle kiss to the soft skin above his heart and slowly trails his lips down further, pausing to nudge his nose into the wiry hair just above the waist of Jared’s briefs. He obediently lifts his hips and lets Jensen tug his underwear down and off, and his eyes slam shut at the sudden sensation of Jensen’s lips sliding over his cock-head. He starts slowly, sucking just the swollen tip into his mouth and dragging his tongue across the sensitive nerves on the underside. He finds an even rhythm soon enough, working as much of the shaft as he can into his mouth, using his spit-slicked palm in tandem to stroke the part of it that he can’t swallow down.
Jared hears himself saying Jensen’s name, feels his own hand curl tight around a fistful of bed sheets and the breath rush from his lungs when Jensen suddenly lets his cock slip from his mouth in favor of laving over his balls instead. He’s somehow both completely focused on and oddly removed from the sensations, heart hammering behind his ribcage and blood rushing hot and hard under every inch of his skin. Jared bites back a moan when Jensen moves even further back; shoving one arm under Jared’s hip to lift him enough so that he can lick over his twitching hole. It feels amazing – always does with Jensen – but the confusingly arousing sensation of Jensen’s stubble against his over-sensitive skin has his head swimming and his vision blurry around the edges.
Jensen continues on though, licking and sucking gently around his rim, alternately pushing the pointed tip of his tongue passed the tight ring of muscle. Finally he lifts his head and smiles faintly, reaching over into the small drawer beside the bed to pull out the bottle of lube tucked away there. Jared watches through half-lidded eyes as Jensen slicks up his own cock and bites back a groan himself at the sensation of his own hand against hard, throbbing flesh. He’s gorgeous – freckle-kissed cheeks stained pink, chest glistening with perspiration, blood-thick cock curved up toward his belly. He braces his weight with his palm pressed to the pillow beside Jared’s head and lines himself up, nudging against Jared’s entrance.
They both hold their breaths all the way through it – consciously or not – as Jensen pushes passed the natural resistance of Jared’s body and slowly sinks all the way in. It’s far from their first time, but it’s definitely been a while and so the slight burn and stretch is more pronounced than usual. Jensen exhales shakily and drags his tongue over his bottom lip, tugging it between his teeth and holding it there for a second as he gives Jared time to adjust. The roll of the ocean beneath them and the warmth and comfort of Jensen all around him is strangely soothing, just like it’s always been. It never fails to remind him why – no matter what happens – it’ll always, always be Jensen.
Jensen leans down to rest his weight on his forearm and wrestles his free hand down between them to curl gently around Jared’s aching cock. He drags the pad of his thumb around the swollen crown and then teases along the leaking slit as he brushes the tip of his nose against Jared’s. “I love you,” he whispers. “So much. You gotta know that’s never gonna change, right?”
“I know,” Jared breathes. “I love you, too.” He does know – knows that despite the world around them spinning and shifting at breakneck speed, they’ll always have this.
Their bodies start to move almost on their own accord, tentatively at first, rocking together to try and find the perfect rhythm of give and take that’s always been there between them in every possible sense of the word. Jared tilts his hips a bit and can’t stifle the moan that bubbles up from his throat when Jensen nails his sweet spot on the next thrust. Jensen repeats the motion, picking up the pace as he continues to move. Even aside from that, he can feel every inch of Jensen’s stiff flesh catching and dragging perfectly against the tender skin around his rim on every stroke. It’s incredibly intimate, being connected like this, heated flesh pressed together all the way from shoulders down to ankles.
“Oh God… I’m close,” Jared manages to warn. “Come with me?”
It’s more statement than question, but Jensen’s never been able to deny Jared anything he’s ever asked for, so he just nods and picks up the pace even more, squeezing rhythmically under the head of Jared’s cock as he goes along, just the way Jared likes it. His orgasm rips through him sudden and violent, pleasure rushing under every inch of his skin, sending tremors shooting up and down his spine. Jensen keeps right on going though, milking pulse after pulse of warm, sticky come from Jared’s twitching length as his own cock swells and jerks inside his clenched channel. Despite the haze clouding his vision, Jared’s eyes sweep up to Jensen’s face so he can watch the pleasure ripple across his beautiful features.
A few long moments of silence stretch between them as they both struggle to catch their breaths. Jensen tries to pull away, but Jared catches him around the waist to keep him there, murmuring a simple, “Don’t go” into the sweat-slicked curve of Jensen’s shoulder. It’s more hidden meaning than anything else, but Jensen nods anyway and settles down as comfortably as he can against Jared’s chest, turning enough to press an ear to his heart
“Thought about you,” Jensen whispers. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you, actually. Wasn’t sure when we’d be able to see each other again.” He’s quiet for a few more moments until he finally reaches between them to carefully pull out and then curls up in the nearly non-existent space beside Jared on the bed. A second later, he pushes himself up to rest his weight on the crook of his elbow and brings his free hand up to trace his fingertips along Jared’s brow and down to cup his cheek. His thumb comes to rest on the corner of Jared’s mouth as he asks softly, playfully, “Smile for me? We’re here together now… that’s all that matters.”
Jared’s never been able to refuse anything Jensen’s ever asked for either, and he’s not about to start now. Despite all the pain and heartache – hurting one another over and over again until there’s nothing left to hurt – Jared still feels a grin instinctively tugging at his mouth. It fades quickly though when Jensen pushes himself upright and starts to hunt around on the ground for his discarded clothes. “Where ya goin’?”
“Hang on,” Jensen murmurs. “Be right back.” He quickly slips his pants on and heads back up the ladder to the main deck, and even though Jared’s heart is about to burst right out of his chest, he still can’t help his gaze from lingering on Jensen’s back where the lean muscle ripples and flexes as he moves, the waist of his low-slung shorts just barely concealing the soft swell of his ass.
He’s back less than a minute later, armed with his guitar and a brilliant smile, crinkles at the corners of his beautiful gold-flecked eyes. “Been practicing for a couple’a weeks. Wanted to get it perfect before I played it for you.”
Jared can’t help but smile faintly at the irony of it, considering that Jensen’s always been nothing less than perfect to him. He watches silently, sitting up and scooting over a bit to make room as Jensen sits at the edge of the mattress and starts to play. It’s certainly a gorgeous song and the deep, sweet timbre of Jensen’s voice falls easily in tandem with the gentle motion of the cabin when he begins to sing. There are tears burning behind Jared’s eyes by the time the last chord resonates in the dark blanket of night surrounding them. He doesn’t say anything though, just watches quietly as Jensen sets the guitar aside and then pulls Jared close against his chest again.
“That bad, huh?” Jensen tries to joke.
Jared shakes his head, but all the right words get caught somewhere between his throat and Jensen’s lips. He sighs softly into the kiss, forgetting for a few blissful moments how difficult the road that lies ahead of them will be.
“Everything’s gonna be okay,” Jensen whispers, dropping his forehead to rest against Jared’s for a moment. “I promise.”
Jared can only nod, grateful for the warmth and safety of the darkness and the ocean’s timeless rhythms all around them